I'm back blogging again since i'm freaking bored.

My trip to phuket was fun. Elephant rides, ATV, Rafting, Shopping...

Lazy to type, will be going to Europe in just 2 more days! So sexcited!

Terence

Was doing my Essay today for my holiday assignments. Decided to type it out before writing it on paper. Here's my story. Tell me if you find it interesting!

Dreams

My older friend next door once told me that if I shut my eyes and blew on a candle, all of my wishes would come true... I used to believe her and go around the house candle hunting. How my parents must have laughed to see me scrambling around the furniture, picking up the candles around the room , and blowing the little flame out until my cheeks hurt.
     I made the most outrageous wishes. I wished to own a monkey, a horse, and a dragon; I wished to grow-up and be just like my favourite cartoon character - power rangers. And, of course, I wished for a thousand more wishes so I would never run out.
     I always believed my wishes would come true. When they didn’t, I ran next door and demanded and explanation. She laughed and said I just hadn’t done it right. “Hadn’t done it right?,” I would say. “Then how should I do it?” 
    “It only works if you do it a certain way,” she told me with a little smile, “but you’ll have to figure that out by yourself.” I watched her with wide, admiring eyes and thought she must be right. She was ten years older than me and knew the ways of the world; nothing she said could be wrong. I went back and tried again.
    Time passed, and I grew older. My “perfect” friend started spending less and less time with me….got busier and busier. Distressed by the scant attention I received from her, I spent most of my time staring out the window. I wondered what she was doing, where she was, and if she was having fun. Occasionally, I would wander around the home, blowing out a few candles, wishing for my friend to be how she used to be. Each time I hoped desperately that I had done it the right way and that the wish would come true. 
    But, it never happened.
    After a while, I gave up—not only on my friend—but on the candles as well. Distress had turned into anger and then to rejection of my friend and every thing she had told me. The old dreamer within me vanished and was replaced by a harsh teenage cynic who told me over and over that I should have known better than to believe in free wishes. It chided me for my past belief in dragons and laughed at the thought of my growing up to be a five foot ten giant. It told me to stop being silly and sentimental and to realize the facts of life, to accept what I was and what my friend was, and live with it,
    For a while I tried. I abandoned my old dreams, my old ideas, and threw myself entirely into my schoolwork and the whole dreary rat race of scrambling for grades and popularity. After a time, I even began to come out ahead and could start each day with an indifferent shrug instead of a defeated whimper. Yet none of it made me happy.     
    Candles and my friend kept drifting across my mind.
    I tried to forget about both, but the edge of my anger wore away and the essence of my old self started to seep through again. Despite the best efforts of the cynic in me, I continually found myself staring at those candles—making wishes.
    It wasn’t the same as before, of course. Most of my old dreams and ideals had vanished forever. Certainly, I could never wish for a dragon as a pet now and actually mean it now. No, my dreams were different now, less based on fantasy and more on reality.
Dreams of becoming a princess in a castle or a magical sorceress had changed into hopes of someday living in the woods and writing novels like J.D. Salinger,being a musician and a composer, letting my creativity flow through music. These were the dreams that floated across my mind now. They were tempered by a caution that hadn’t been there before, but they were there. For the first time since my friend’s aloofness, I was acknowledging their presence.
    I had to, for it was those dreams that diluted the pure meaninglessness of my daily struggles in school and made me happy. It was these dreams and the hope of someday fulfilling them that ultimately saved me from falling into the clutches of the dreaded best of apathy that lurked alongside the trails of that rat race. Without them, I think I would have given up and stumbled off the tracks long ago. 
    It took a long time for me to accept this truth and to admit that my cynical self was wrong in denying me my dreams, just as my youthful self had been wrong in living entirely in them. In order to succeed and survive, I needed to find a balance between the two.
    My friend was right; I hadn’t been going after my dreams the right way. Now I know better. This time around, when I go into the living room to blow out my candles, my wishes will come true.

Alright, I'm getting sick of this shit. If you want to say something bad about me, or insult my personality, just tell it to me straight in my face, I would accept it. But the shit is that, people like Mr G. Koh is bullshitting and has been bullshitting about me behind my back, and spreading certain stuff about me which are untrue. This kind of people are super guniang; a guy with(out) balls. You love to gossip about others behind people's back but hate it when others do it. Now I'm telling you mr koh, please show some balls, or I guess that that your balls ain't hunged down far enough yeah ? Grow up bitch.

I'm really fortunate to have so many friends asking me how i am when they saw or heard about what happened to me. Really grateful for that!

Nobody's a "superman". I'm just a human being and need some rest from time to time. I'm not able to live up to your expectation man... it's way too high.

It's really true, that if you lose something, you'll eventually gain something in the near future.

Be prepared.

After 4 fucking years, I didn't get anything in return. I've put in so much effort in it, so much time in it, so much MONEY, but guess what, shit happens. Didn't turn up for a few practices, yet I get the cold shoulder, making me not play certain parts. And you give me your fuck face with a shit smile. Dude, at least I participated in every shit from sec 1 up till now, ain't that enough? Syf for 2 years, yet this is what I get. My maths tutor was fucking right: all of us are "virgins" when we enter secondary school. CCA's use us like prositutes, correction, worst than that. After you help them achieve their "goals" or "awards" they'll just throw you aside. Don't you all realize that? All the so-called "team-bonding", "leadership" things that you are suppose to learn are all a facade, all bullshit. I should have quitted band 2 or 3 years ago when my other peers from NA did so.  Cca's gives us 2 point deduction from olevels in the end or enable us to go to a Better jc with sucky results. Why do that? If you can't study or have shitty results just face it - go to a lousier school for god sake. Action action, go to jc via DSA, get looked down by others, and willingly let yourself get used again. Ive got to realized that i shouldn't put in too much effort and hardship in any shit because humans are assholes ( yes, that includes me ); I shouldn't trust anyone to a extreme extent.  The only way to be happy, and maybe successful is to be a crafty person. Because " if you can't beat them, join them. " Fuck.

Was surfing youtube, and came across a machinima video i did when i was in sec 2 for project work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EXfDkMZ_80

Nice right?